This Partys Dead...Do Something Stupid

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In the first game, its revisionist Western film DNA created a story that interrogated the presumed morality, social progress, ideals, and reality of our American dreams. But the question plaguing the newly released prequel is a more meta one. From its slavish conceit of realism, compulsive bigness, and astounding disinterest in telling a story worth the several dozen hours it demands, Red Dead Redemption 2 fails to justify its own excessive existence.

I get it. Prequel narratives are tough to justify. But few come across as such unabashed, thinly veiled find-and-replace retreads of their originals as Red Dead Redemption 2.

Worse still, this game only serves to weaken the accomplishments of what came before it. Poor Arthur Morgan, the most purposeless protagonist to ever grace a box art cover, was retconned into existence solely to die. You can tell from 3, miles away, especially knowing he's not present nor even mentioned in John Marston's future. But that isn't the only reason it's tough to invest in him. Let's try an experiment: Name a single unique characteristic of Arthur Morgan's that he does not share with John Marston. Tuberculosis doesn't count.

Also, stop me if you've heard this one before: A down-on-his-luck Old West outlaw, known for dead-eye gunslinging, begrudgingly continues to do bad things while trying to justify them as an ultimate good, but with increasing uncertainty. He fights to do one purely good thing, until consequence catches up and he dies.


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This game so often forgets to give its own protagonist a reason for being, that it's probably better categorized as a preamble rather than a prequel to John's story. Its ludicrously long "epilogue" which spans two parts and multiple hours makes as much clear. But even as a preamble, Red Dead Redemption 2 succeeds only in telegraphing insights and backstory already masterfully implied by the original's subtext. If anything, this new peek into the Marston family's genesis highlights a flaw the first game hid well, which is that Abigail and Jack are shallow cardboard cutouts of Wife and Child.

With no agency or desires outside of John, Abigail's little more than a continuous list of shrill demands, ranging from the understandable yeah, you shouldn't raise a kid in this environment to the absurd let's buy this ranch we've never seen with our no money and experience — or I'm leaving! For most of the game, Jack's just a representation of innocence contrasting the cruelty of his surroundings.

He practically walks around gunfights in a sailor suit licking a lollipop. Later in the game, he becomes more of the fleshed-out human being from the original, with interests unrelated to his father. Yet another one of Red Dead Redemption 2 's missed opportunities, though, is any exploration of the one question the first game left us with about Jack.

Yesterdaze: Biblical amounts of stupid

How could a sensitive, shy boy mostly raised on a ranch, who wants nothing to do with outlawing, transform into the cold-blooded killer of the first game's epilogue? Now there's an interesting arc that might've actually warranted a revisitation of Red Dead Redemption. The most compelling justification for the prequel's existence is Dutch van der Linde, the only character that saves Red Dead Redemption 2 's story from utter pointlessness.

Portrayed only as an omnipresent, villainous specter in the first game, fruitful and unexplored ground remained in telling his origin story. There are untold missed opportunities in showing the Red Dead world from his perspective, which would've offered a bigger shift in tone, theme, genre, and character arc. Instead, both Arthur and John act as practically interchangeable anti-heroes built for the same nihilistic cynicism that defines the revisionist Western genre. On the other hand, Dutch represented more of the idealism from classic Western movies , initially embodying this intoxicating fantasy of the gunslinger who fights for the moral soul of our American future.

That sounds a lot like the gang's early glory days we keep hearing about in both Red Dead Redemption 1 and 2. Yet even more inexplicably, we don't start the prequel with Dutch at his prime, or the gang truly believing in his vision of a way of life that's superior to industrialist progress.


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Imagine the game that could've been, though, if we as Dutch watched our own mask fall, the glory of our idealism crumbling under the pressures of an ever-changing and hostile world. But originality be damned!

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Red Dead Redemption 2 opts to open with a literal wall of text explaining that we've already reached the Death of the West, when outlaws are being hunted. Which is to say: When you credit Donald Trump, in the absence of absolutely any evidence , with possessing the Mephistophelian cunning to bring about his own impeachment, deliberately, for the purpose of bringing to fruition some long-simmering plot to consolidate his political support, you are finally saying that you agree with him.

He believes that he deserves what he has because he has it, and his every decision flows from that belief; he believes that being rich and famous, alone, is proof that he should be rich and famous.

To see him as he sees himself—as a sinister mastermind—and treat him as he believes he should be treated is to agree with him on all that. The A. Albert Burneko. Filed to: donald trump Filed to: donald trump donald trump america. Share This Story. Recommended Stories. It's Political.

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5 Stupid Things The Church Needs to Stop Doing to Make Progress

About the author Albert Burneko. Albert Burneko Writer at Deadspin. Though it is custom in parliamentary systems for a party leader to resign immediately after losing an election, Corbyn is not a customary political leader but a blinkered revolutionary: Now that he and his hard-left acolytes are firmly in control of the Labour Party, they are not about to give it up.

That this election would be this close was an utterly unthinkable, indeed laughable, proposition not so long ago. That can be done. Following a spate of deadly Islamist-inspired terrorist attacks in London and Manchester, Corbyn has tried to adopt a tough pose, criticizing May for cuts she made to the police forces during her period as home secretary — which is ridiculous considering his decades-long coddling of the very sorts of people who have murdered and maimed so many British innocents these past few months.

This means that Corbyn will perform far better than he has any business doing under normal circumstances, and the lesson learned by the British and wider European left may be that pursuing a hardcore anti-American, anti-NATO, neutralist platform is an acceptable strategy.

Many have favorably compared Corbyn to an earlier Labour leader, Michael Foot. Foot, like Corbyn, came from the Labour left, was a republican in that he wished to abolish the monarchy , and had a similarly disheveled appearance. But Foot — unlike Corbyn — was a patriot. When he died in , Foot was universally acknowledged as a man of principle and decency. One often hears, even from some critics, that Corbyn is the same. His grandfatherly demeanor and passionate cries for social justice have earned the endorsements of people ranging from actress Lena Dunham to New York Times columnist Roger Cohen.

This impression of the Labour leader is utterly, dangerously wrong. For Jeremy Corbyn is a fundamentally indecent person.

MARKIPLIER LAUGHING AT STUPID CRAP - Jackbox 5: Patently Stupid

Making common cause with those who wantonly killed and wounded innocents during the Troubles, taking blood money from the propaganda outlet of a theocratic dictatorship, defending the North Korean slave state, and being utterly oblivious to the point of tacitly endorsing hatred of Jews in his own ranks, Corbyn is a sinister man with a credulous following.

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